text; not anonymous, because miles stands behind the things he says. even the stupid ones.

[upshore]

You're kidding, rigt???

you are honestly 100% fucking KIDDING me right now with this absolute bulslhit here. for yhe love of...well not god but you know...fuck's sake i mean for FUCKS SAKR

Hey does someone have a sewing kit or smth cayse i gotta do some field medicine. needles wnd vofka is more medically sound than the place i just came from.

also im at least 80% sure that i died and this is hell because there is nothing about this that isnt currently my worst goddamned mcfucking njghtmare

[When you're suddenly counting in base 8 and trying not to hurt your new finger stubs, you make a few typos. Okay, full disclosure - he bashed em a few times. Hence why his typing rapidly deteriorated.]

Comments

[bastardofipswich]

:,(

[upshore]

does this place have emojis

aparently not

so fyi

on the record

my response to that is

middle finger emoji

[bastardofipswich]

i was TRYING to express my sympathy for you! no need to be rude about it!!!

[upshore]

it sounded sarcastic

[zombology]

We can do better than needles and vodka, though I doubt it will do more than hold the wound closed.

What, exactly, is the problem?

text; gore tw oops

[upshore]

h/o

[A moment later, there's shaky video. First he shows off his left hand, the ring finger cleanly snipped away; there's an awkward transfer from hand-to-hand and he shows off his right hand. The index finger there has been cut just about at the joint, but raggedly, showing a centimeter or so of open bone. Both wounds are extremely recent-looking - within the past few hours - and there are cuts and abrasions on his bloody, dirty hands. There's a quiet "fuck!" and the phone clatters down on the table.

After about fifteen seconds:] ta-da

text

[zombology]

...HOW

????

text

[upshore]

yet another mciro-level expression of the adage that 'capitalosm is inhumane'

or, specificallt: a crazy motherfucker chopped off my fingers for shits andngiggles while pontificating about economics

[11calls]

Do you need some help?

[upshore]

i need more liquor and therapy than exist in this or any universe

[11calls]

Unfortunately that I can't help you with. Though a God of Therapy would be interesting, I guess.

[upshore]

absolutely not

id kill myself

[11calls]

Probably wouldn't help here. The God of Death seems like a real brat.

[upshore]

well fuck im already in hell figures some hot topic goth would have snapped up the whole-ass concept of death

like modern hot topic

not when it used to mean something

i betbhe doesnt even know what tripps are

[11calls]

[Wow, man, you definitely sound like Nic right now. Welcome new!Nic.]

Probably not. I mean, he's not even wearing guyliner.

[upshore]

[Nice. A new friend!]

well that;s just offensive

commit or quit, man

[11calls]

Seriously! It just makes more sense. Also his temple definitely needs more goth music coming from it.

We short of share a realm, kinda.

[upshore]

where's his suggestion box

wait

you're not in on this cult shit too

[11calls]

What? Cult shit? No.

I'm Sleep, because I always need some honestly. But we're in the same realm.

[upshore]

hidtorically people xaying they're gods or that other people are gods or doing a worship hasn't gone well for me and is in fact on som e cult shit

also what's sleep i dont know her

[His veins are full of coffee. He really doesn't.]

[11calls]

Well, that's why I took it. I don't know her either.

[upshore]

So you're saying people what didnt sleep? earlier????

what fuck

[11calls]

If we don't get our asses on the thrones then whatever we don't have a God of doesn't work.

[upshore]

[A long period of no response. Then:]

bullshit

[11calls]

Why would I lie?

text

[choosetruth]

Unfortunately part of the bullshit is that medicine doesn't actually work. Because no one's decided to come forward and be god of it.

Vodka should still do the trick, though. Have fun. And don't expect anything to help you take the edge off the hangover tomorrow.

text

[upshore]

i just need to sterilize tools and/or wounds because i probably have lieke super tetanus after tonight

text

[choosetruth]

What happened?

text

[upshore]

down a couple fingers nbd

text

[choosetruth]

....I'll be honest, that sounds like a bd.

Re: text

[upshore]

i dont want to think about howw b a d it is bc then i;ll start freaking the fuck out for the rest of my life probaly

unless i die of super tetanus

which i probably will

text

[choosetruth]

What you need is real medical assistance.

text

[upshore]

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo shit

i def dont need some crsazy fuckin lunatic pretending he's a doctror choppin up my fingers with bone shears but that sure happened

video

[heavenlies]

[ Can't be hell, there's a literal angel right here, looking super worried. ]

Are you okay?

text

[upshore]

notnparticularyl no

i am in an extraordinarliy large amount of pain

also i am very angry

[nettled]

If a broadly harmless, if not fairly unusual city is what you qualify as your worst nightmare, I would most certainly trade my nightmares for yours.

[ he's been here five minutes and already he's getting ready to shove his foot in his mouth, like a pro. ]

I take it you're injured in some way?

[upshore]

1. you're an idiot

2. yes, you idiot

[problematical]

Not a nightmare. I didn't do it.

text;

[upshore]

no kidding? good bc if you did i'd have to hunt you down and beat you to death with your own arm

Re: text;

[problematical]

You wouldn't.

text;

[upshore]

not if you're not the one responsible for this

so if you're not lying, we cool