video; might as well get this pantheon started

[bastardofipswich]

[ Here's a teenager, holding his phone up to record himself as he lounges in his kickass new throne. Really, he's practically draped across it, legs dangling over the arm. What can be seen of the temple around him is... dimly lit and sparsely furnished. But he grins, looking totally self-satisfied, with the kind of obnoxious smugness that 18 year olds are particularly adept it projecting.

His eyes go black as the torches' flames flare up in size and intensity. ]

Bow down, bitches. The mortal coil's about to make a biiiiig comeback.

[ GRIN.

...

There's a bit of an awkward pause as he cranes his neck to look around. ]

So who the hell-- [ Does he own Hell now? HEH. Yeah, he has to pause to snicker. ] --knows anything about interior decorating? This place needs a serious makeover. [ Chase needs a makeover while we're at it. He's projecting 'high school student' instead of fearsome death god. ]

Comments

Video

[zombology]

[Ari does not look much better than when he fled the room during his orientation "party". In fact, he looks horrified.]

What have you done?!

text;

[murderbreak]

Oh, good. I didn't want to have to do the legwork myself.

Thanks! :)

video

[nevermorethroppish]

[ The only reason he knows how to work the phone is because he drew the memory of it's use from the item itself. Thankfully, that's all he needed, though it's certainly not lacking in awkwardness. ]

...was that supposed to be intimidating? That part with the eyes. You resemble a Seal.

[ MOVING ON. ]

Which temple have you decided to place yourself in? That might assist those of us who'd even dare attempt to offer assistance.

[bastardofipswich]

[ Your horror is met with giddy laughter, Ari. Sorry about this witch.

But, you know, after a moment, he settles down. Serious face for serious talking. ]

What comes naturally to me.

[ ...no, wait, he has to laugh again. ]

So I took advantage of an opportunity! Who cares? I mean... I don't know if you noticed, but... [ Leans in, conspiratorial whisper: ] this place is seriously messed up.

[sybaritic]

[ oh no. ]

You're adorable.

[ this is completely free of irony, just by the way. ]

[bastardofipswich]

well i AM a kind and benevolent god etc etc

[zombology]

[His mouth works, clear evidence that he's trying to come up with the appropriate emotional response to that - because Chase is right. This place is messed up. But so is Chase, from what Ari has seen thus far.

He doesn't say that, of course. That would be stupid.]

Which temple?

[He chokes out the words, his expression full of trepidation now. He doesn't think he's going to like the answer.]

What throne did you take?

[bastardofipswich]

[ His face falls. ]

What? [ A SEAL? ] It's not-- it's just a normal thing my eyes do. [ When he does magic, anyway.

ALSO MOVING ON. ]

Death. I thought the 'mortal coil' thing was a big enough hint.

[bastardofipswich]

[ He makes a face. ]

Adorable? Really?

[nevermorethroppish]

Is it because you're part Seal?

[ Look, it's a bit unorthodox, but as long as everyone has a capital letter on their species, he isn't entirely against it. Technically, his half-sister is in love with a Lion and he tries to be supportive in his totally absentee sort of way. ]

And you never know. Perhaps it was a pun. God of Snakes.

Though how that'd work with the Seal part is anyone's guess...

[bastardofipswich]

[ Chase, meanwhile, is living for the reaction he's getting. ]

Oh, come on... I left you a big hint.

[murderbreak]

Mm. Being on a murder break for too long makes me a bit itchy, so I'll burn a goat in your honor, or whatever.

I also have cigarettes.

[ask_alexa]

[ Jesus Christ, kid. ]

...do you have to look so happy about it?

[bastardofipswich]

What, I'm supposed to be sad about this? [ R U KIDDING? This is awesome. ]

[bastardofipswich]

I'm not-- no! [ With a scowl, his eyes shift back to their normal blue as the flames in the torches die down to normal... flame levels. ] If I was an animal, I wouldn't be a seal!

[ Are you sure, Chase? BLACK EYES, ADORABLE BABY FAT FACE, LOVES TO SWIM... ]

[bastardofipswich]

murder break?

[ Look, Chase has murdered people, too, BUT YOU DON'T JUST ANNOUNCE IT!! ]

[murderbreak]

Oh, yeah. [This is totally normal for him, Chase.] Geoff mandated it for a little while and I kept it together for a week before I shot Gavin in the face.

Gotta let me off the leash every once in a while, y'know?

[nevermorethroppish]

[ To be fair, Chase, he may be part dragon. Time dragon, specifically, or it's all just some sort of overfluffed metaphor involving magic and creation. Unfortunately, his author either tells you nothing or tells you fourteen things, at least ten of which might be true, three of which probably are even if they contradict one another, and the last one is literally just because the language was pretty. All the same, his blood's the wrong color, plummy instead of rust-colored, so maybe he's part Klingon. Who knows. His canon's technically fanfic anyway. ]

Well, no. Because you're talking. Which is why you'd be an Animal. Or a part-Animal, I suppose. A Seal. A Seal-ing.

Appropriate given your question, though.

[ There is a faint difference in how he says the word, a Capital Letter sort of difference that's audible if your ear is trained for such a thing, or perhaps if you're listening for it.

Wait, did he just- ]

God of Death, you said? I suppose that depends on how you look at death.

[tatra]

[ Tatra giggles. ]

How did you do that with your eyes? It was so cute~

audio!

[11calls]

Two things. One: out of all the gods you could be you chose death? Are you like a goth kid or something? And Two: Are you a demon?

[bastardofipswich]

[ Chase's face falls for a moment. WHY IS NOBODY IMPRESSED BY HIS COOL WITCHY EYES. ]

How is it cute? [ pls... don't call him a seal. (OR DO) ]

video forever

[bastardofipswich]

Uh... So I'm either a goth kid or a demon?

[ NO, HE'S NOT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS. He has Very Serious Personal Reasons for death, but he'll stick with 'because it's cool' to others. ]

[bastardofipswich]

[ Chase narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he listens, like he's TRYING to make out those capital letters. ]

Did you just imply my mom screwed a seal? Oh-- hang on, sorry, a Seal.

Fine then, video.

[11calls]

[Alex turns her video on with a little huff of air, and her eyes narrow at him for a second.]

Yeah. Who else goes right for the god of death as the first throne anyone claims?

[bastardofipswich]

so you're like.... the world's most impatient serial killer?